The "Introduction"

"It will be intense, but fun using only high quality instruction because no two goalies are the same! We at Goalie School X know this because our top notch instructor won the 1979 Peewee Championships and set the lowest GAA record, which still stands today!"

"Our 4:1 student to teacher ratio is unmatched in the business because we put 7 guys who can stand up on goalie skates on the ice with 28 kids. We would also like to congratulate former student John Doe on his Con Smythe and Stanley Cup victory. We helped John develop his skills at our camps and are responsible for all his success. Great job John!"

 

The "Topics"

This is where we normally list every word you can think of associated with Goaltending, such as stance, Butterfly, Paddle down, etc. So that we can make it look like we know what we're doing and parent's feel they are getting their money's worth.

 

The "Facilities"

This is where we take credit for a facility that we had nothing to do with and brag about the Swimming pool, tennis court, arcade etc that it boasts. This makes Goalie School X seem like it is far superior to the next.

 

The "Head Instructor"

This is where the owner strokes their ego, drops the name of a few Major Junior or NHL teams they have worked with (best case scenario), mentions the name of 4 or 5 goalies out of thousands that went on to play semi-pro or NCAA Division 6 hockey at Hawaii state and touches on the many books they have written on the position. All Book titles have the word Goaltending combined with terms like Flexibility, mental toughness, preparation etc. Literal gems such as "Goalie in the Kitchen", "Men are from Venus, Goalies are from Mars" etc. This is also where the instructor emphasizes an injury they had at a young age that prevented them from reaching their full, Goalie god status.

 

 

The "Testimonials"

This is the section where Goalie School X latches on to a few parents who are so thrilled that someone showed the least bit of interest in their kids. Terms like patient, thoughtful, understanding of the position, technical and mental improvement, and most important of all - Fun! are tossed around like rice at a wedding to illustrate what a connection the instructor has made with the student.

 

The Real Bottom Line

The truth of the matter is that most of these people and schools mean well, they just try to mask their insecurities and flaws as goaltenders to instill confidence in the consumer. The sad fact is that most parents would love to have Dominic Hasek, Patrick Roy or Martin Brodeur teach their kids. Wouldn't we all? The problem is that these guys don't have the time, or the desire to do this full time. Those who can, do. Those who can't teach.

As a professional goaltender, I have had the opportunity to play with or against many great goalies. Take it from me, although we may admire their skill, most of the game's great goalies, or players for that matter, aren't exactly guys you would want to leave your kids alone with.

At the end of the day, as funny or as sad as these clichés may be, we need people like this to actually take the time to teach and improve our kids. Without them, there would be no game.... okay, the game would live on, but there would be no recovery techniques or rebound control, and the guys playing goalie would still be trying to stay on their feet and holding their goalie stick like a broom!

We at The Goalie Barn Inc. believe that parents are dying for someone to reciprocate their interest in their children's development. Through the help of our many great partners, such as Nike Bauer Hockey Inc, we hope to change goaltender development for the better and help parents and goalies make educated decisions regarding proper hockey training.